Sometimes provoking focused anger in a teen can lead to advocacy and change. Or, ask what she would do if accused of being a “distraction” to guys.
#Girls inshort shorts code#
If she attends a school that does not require uniforms, inquire about the dress code policy and how it is enforced. Perhaps you could pull up one of the aforementioned articles during an inconspicuous time and ask for her opinion.
Try to refrain from talking about it in a public dressing room, or when she’s wearing said shorts, or walking out of the door to go somewhere – as this will almost certainly cause a fight. Whatever the reason (if there is one), if you want to discuss this further with your daughter, timing and tact of broaching the conversation is critical. She may feel pressure to dress like her peers, or wear the same clothing brands which may not offer a lot of variety. In fact, most teens will not wear something if they think it looks terrible on them. She may be perfectly comfortable in her shorts and feel confident about her body. It’s tricky to ask a teen if she’s comfortable in her clothes without implying something negative about her body size. Reading over your question, it sounds like there is a lot more to this story. For example, last fall, a group of middle school girls in Maryland protested their school’s dress code by designing t-shirts that read: “ I am more than a distraction.” I applaud their advocacy our society is quick to shame girls for what they wear, which never solves anything. The topic has also rendered a contentious debate about school dress codes and sexism. You can read more about this here, here, and here. Parents have contested the “fingertip” rule in schools, and compared the lengths of shorts designed for girls versus boys. The length of girl’s shorts has been controversial for years. This is a tough question and situation, especially given her age and forthcoming independence. She says she can move and sit and feels comfortable in them, but I don’t buy it. I think it looks cheap, and must be uncomfortable. Heck, I would even be OK if she wanted to wear a thong to the beach, but she’s had these shorts since she was 15, and now there’s a squeeze going on at the lower edge of the shorts. I think of myself a progressive parent and have never said these shorts will cause her to be objectified. I made a mistake early on by blaming her really messy room on why she can’t find her clothes that fit. Learn more and join us! Because we're all in this together.My 17-year-old has been wearing really short shorts all summer, and every time I’ve brought it up with her has ended in a fight.
This post comes from the TODAY Parenting Team community, where all members are welcome to post and discuss parenting solutions. This post originally ran on Kristen Hewitt's website. Let’s let them be little.Īnd please let’s keep their fannies covered. Let's stop asking them to look and act like adults. Let’s stop pressuring our kids to grow up so fast. So we decided together that she can wear shorter shorts to the beach, or for hanging out, but not at school. “No,” he said, “you’re making sure her underwear isn’t showing.” So I asked my husband, "Am I limiting her individuality? Am I being a hypocrite and not allowing her to be who she wants to be?" It's so hard as a parent when you come to new milestones and have to rely on your intuition. I felt bad later in the evening and questioned my judgment.
I’m not sure what the designers were thinking when they came up with Daisy Dukes for kids, but why so young? We won’t be buying them, not for the foreseeable future anyway. And while we appreciate her individuality, and don't want her to feel ashamed of her body, we simply don’t want her bum exposed. School isn’t a fashion runway, it’s a place to learn. I get it, she wants to fit in, but she’s NINE. And we see them even shorter at stores - you know, where you can see actual butt cheeks. Her friends sometimes come home with us from school in itty-bitty cut off jean shorts. "I’m sorry you’re disappointed, but those shorts are spectacular! I wish they made them in my size.” I tried to make a joke but she wasn’t buying it. “Well, we aren’t everyone else," I told her. I didn’t think we’d get to the “everyone else” phase until cell phones or cars were being discussed. I asked if she didn’t like them and she assured me she did. I picked them up while she was in school as she needed new ones, and I thought she’d be thrilled with the floral embroidery. So today I smiled as I left new shorts for our older daughter. When I was younger I loved coming home from school to find little surprises my mom might leave for me on my bed.
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